In my last post, My Elementary School Used a NSFW Portrait of Marilyn Monroe as a Fundraiser, I explained how the Family of Light claimed to run a private school “providing superior educational opportunities to exceptional young people, including children suffering from hyper and attention-deficit disorders, the gifted, and children with other special needs.” This was a blatant falsehood.
The more I read the more disgusted and saddened I am by what you experienced.
While “Sri” may well have been the architect of the groups method for keeping both adults and children in line, those who stood by and did nothing to protect those who were to young to protect themselves are as responsible as the architect.
You are far more generous in your position of others in the group, than I, as an outsider view them. It takes courage and great inner strength to confront and stand against the type of emotional and physical abuse you describe.
I am firm in my belief, that these emotional and corporal abuses, were not ordained by God, but mandated as a result of the need for control, cruelty and an attitude of spiritual superiority.
I continue to respect your courage in leaving and speaking out. I pray your journey will be one of healing and peace.
You are absolutely valid in your perspective. However, I can’t condemn their actions without condemning myself too. I participated and stood by while the same was done to others. I hate that I did that, I am ashamed of those moments. I also remember the pressure put on me in those moments. As crazy as it sounds, I truly believed that god wanted me to say/ do those things. There was a deeply ingrained belief that these Processings/ punishments were done out of love. When spanked as a child I was told “we do this because we love you.” So while I don’t agree with their actions, I do understand what causes it.
I don’t believe that god actually ordained these things either. These were all punishments drummed up inside a cruel sick mind that took immense pleasure in seeing others humiliated and in pain.
Thank you for your kind words and encouragement ❤️
I feel like what you're describing here is maybe the worst thing adults do to children short of physically hurting them. Abusing people's emotions and manipulating them through guilt leaves major scars.
I absolutely agree. That and gaslighting have been the biggest struggles to overcome. I have a hard time writing about my experiences sometimes because even though I remember clearly what happened, I’ve been told so many times that I’m lying, making things up, remembering things wrong, am crazy, etc that I have to comb through every detail in my mind an excruciating amount of times before I am satisfied that what I remember did, in fact, happen. I’m grateful that for a lot of my tween/ teen years I kept journals so that I have a record of what actually happened. My earlier memories, like this one, I have to trust my memory and embodied responses. I almost deleted this post several times today because of all that and the guilt/ shame surrounding the events I described.
The more I read the more disgusted and saddened I am by what you experienced.
While “Sri” may well have been the architect of the groups method for keeping both adults and children in line, those who stood by and did nothing to protect those who were to young to protect themselves are as responsible as the architect.
You are far more generous in your position of others in the group, than I, as an outsider view them. It takes courage and great inner strength to confront and stand against the type of emotional and physical abuse you describe.
I am firm in my belief, that these emotional and corporal abuses, were not ordained by God, but mandated as a result of the need for control, cruelty and an attitude of spiritual superiority.
I continue to respect your courage in leaving and speaking out. I pray your journey will be one of healing and peace.
You are absolutely valid in your perspective. However, I can’t condemn their actions without condemning myself too. I participated and stood by while the same was done to others. I hate that I did that, I am ashamed of those moments. I also remember the pressure put on me in those moments. As crazy as it sounds, I truly believed that god wanted me to say/ do those things. There was a deeply ingrained belief that these Processings/ punishments were done out of love. When spanked as a child I was told “we do this because we love you.” So while I don’t agree with their actions, I do understand what causes it.
I don’t believe that god actually ordained these things either. These were all punishments drummed up inside a cruel sick mind that took immense pleasure in seeing others humiliated and in pain.
Thank you for your kind words and encouragement ❤️
You were a child. Your job was to just be loved and protected.
That is very true
Wow, I am so very sorry you were put through this. Thank you for writing and sharing, it's incredibly brave and helpful.
I feel like what you're describing here is maybe the worst thing adults do to children short of physically hurting them. Abusing people's emotions and manipulating them through guilt leaves major scars.
I absolutely agree. That and gaslighting have been the biggest struggles to overcome. I have a hard time writing about my experiences sometimes because even though I remember clearly what happened, I’ve been told so many times that I’m lying, making things up, remembering things wrong, am crazy, etc that I have to comb through every detail in my mind an excruciating amount of times before I am satisfied that what I remember did, in fact, happen. I’m grateful that for a lot of my tween/ teen years I kept journals so that I have a record of what actually happened. My earlier memories, like this one, I have to trust my memory and embodied responses. I almost deleted this post several times today because of all that and the guilt/ shame surrounding the events I described.
Please keep writing, Megan. You have a story worth telling.